What Makes Someone Sexy?
Someone said to me recently, via Messenger, “you are sexy as hell, and what is sexier is that you know it” (thanks R..). My response was, “sexy is many things, much of which is just how you feel around someone” and I added that he just inspired a blog post. So if sexy is a feeling, then where does it come from? What is sexy? What makes someone else sexy? Why are some people sexy to you, but not to other people? Is sexy the same for you across the board?
I hope you will share with me on my page, I am going to share with you my opinions and also that of some of my friends.
I need to start by saying, please do not message me. The person that I was referring to above is a friend that I periodically have a meaningful conversation with, not non-sense. I would elaborate, but those people aren’t reading this anyhow… Okay moving on..
As I frequently do when I have a topic on my mind, I ask friends and acquaintances, without any prompting or context, to answer a question for me. In this case I asked a couple of friends “what makes someone sexy?” It is no surprise to me that they wanted a lot of clarification on the question. I didn’t offer any, I just wanted an answer. The answers were all similar in broadness. Nobody had a single thing or even a theme of what makes someone sexy. Sometimes they had something that “must NOT” be present, but really no one thing that MUST be present to be sexy. I find that interesting. I also didn’t believe them. So once we spent time dissecting it a bit, I could see a theme or a “thing” every time.
For me, that thing is confidence. Of course, confidence is not always easily identifiable from across the room so one might argue that I don’t NEED confidence to find someone sexy. I can’t argue, but I will say that someone can lose their appeal VERY quickly in a 5 minute conversation, or 5 minutes of observation.
What I found is that of the few people I talked to, everyone had certain physical traits that they find very sexy. When dissected, we found that they had dated or found themselves very attracted to different women throughout their lives who did not have those physical traits, but had some other particular trait. So with that in mind, why is it that I still know the man or woman that will attract my friends?? It is not purely physical when I pick them out of a crowd, but I am almost always right.
One of my parlor tricks (I call super powers) is that if my friends and I are in a crowded bar (pre-covid), I could have them look around and find 2 or 3 of their sexiest picks, and then I can tell them who they are. In this situation it is very often physical attributes only, and they can do the same for me. But sometimes it is not, it is the “vibe” they have. Perhaps the clothing they have on, the way they are interacting with their friends, etc.
Just for fun, I will tell you a story. I was out with a close friend one time, we parked and I looked up the street and saw a bouncer at the door of a club we were not going to, and I switched the direction we were walking specifically because I knew with everything in me that my friend would be drawn to that guy like a magnet and it would delay us. So we get to the intended club and were headed into the VIP room, there is only one roped off path so we head that way, and I see the DJ at the end of that path and I KNEW, omg, she is going to stop and talk to this guy. I couldn’t change direction, so I said to him as I passed “My friend is about to hit on you, I will wait around the corner, you’re welcome” and sure enough, I did not even have to look back, I just waited while she got his number. Those two men had a look that she likes, which was the 1st indicator, and then a vibe that sealed the deal.
I think that we have that thing that causes our body to react instantly, without thought, and then there is that thing that keeps your attention. If you can find someone with both, god bless you. If not though, you will become physically attracted to the one that you have some other attraction to, it won’t work in reverse. It really won’t. Trust me, I have tried sooo many times.
For me, the thing that will ALWAYS make my head turn and my body react initially is masculine looking, muscular, bald men. I am stupidly attracted to bald men (shaved bald), and muscular men. (20+ years in the fitness industry, not sorry) A bald, muscular, marine .. forget it, my body knows if you have entered the room. However, cockiness or ignorance can reverse that quickly. But give me a confident man or woman all day long. The women that get my attention are the feminine tom boy types.
That being said, I have dated some nerds, like.. many, many nerds. (okay, confession, I just wrote 2 paragraphs about nerds and then realized that is the next blog post), but trust me ladies and gentlemen, try a nerd, you will thank me later.
Back to the topic, what makes someone sexy? I think it is just based on how you feel when you are around them. If your sexual energy increases, then they are sexy. What causes your sexual energy to increase? Can sexy change depending on the day? Does sexy always mean you want to have sex with them? This blog post clearly has more questions than answers. Please share, I would like to hear on the page what you think sexy is.