3 Things Amazing Sex Partners NEVER do
This topic has been burning my brain lately. I had a few months of being both very busy and very stressed out. I did kind of withdraw from all things social and most things in general that were not work related. Since my work depends on me being healthy and having good energy, it is more important than ever to take care of myself above all else. I am not willing to give the little free time I have away to others, regardless of how that makes them feel.
I am not sure I could count the number of times that I was told that I just need some good sex or had offers to provide me with the stress relief in the form of “amazing” sex.
First of all, I want to applaud their confidence for thinking it is a good idea to talk to someone like me about my sexual needs. But really it just shows how ignorant and inexperienced they probably are. Not to mention, they probably know nothing about me at all.
I knew I needed to write this for those men who constantly tell me how amazing they are and how they can show me things I have never seen. I am writing this, knowing that not one of them will ever read it, but for those of you who do, for the love of all things sexual, hear me on this.
Since there are far more than 3 things that amazing sexual partners NEVER do, I considered a more extensive list. I picked the top 3 and then talked to girlfriend to ask what she thinks the next 2 would be. With no prompting, no set up, no explanation, I asked my friend Diana to tell me 3 things that her amazing sex partners never do. Her immediate response, without a moment of hesitation was my #1 thing.. and then she proceeded with the next 2. I decided in that 30 seconds that we really only need the first one and we will eliminate all of the wasted time. You are getting three, but I am not doing a countdown, or saving the best for last, I am giving you #1 first so you can quit reading in 3.2 seconds… you’re welcome.
#1
Amazing sexual partners NEVER tell you that they are amazing- They simply do not talk about being amazing. It is not that they don’t know it, they do know it. Because they are experienced, they know that the most amazing sex happens intuitively, when there is a connection, and very often by surprise. They also know that if there is no connection, that sex will not be amazing, no matter how talented they are. I have had an awful lot of disappointing sex in my life, and that is not for my lack of skill or experience, I assure you. But one can only do so much on their own.
#2
Amazing sexual partners NEVER feel the need to talk through the act first- If someone is asking you for details and wants you to tell them what you will do next and tell them this and tell them that, they are either 1. Just talking so they can gratify themselves and have no intention of meeting. or 2. They need some guidance due to lack of experience. This is not referring to partners that you have been with and you both enjoy sexting. If you have experienced this person that needs a play by play, then you know exactly what I am talking about and it has never ended with amazing sex.
#3
Amazing sexual partners NEVER ask you before doing something- As usual I have to put something controversial in so that angry, sexually repressed people can send me an email that I can delete. What I am referring to here is during the sex act, amazing sexual partners are not asking for every move to make. They are intuitive, they are reading the room, they feel you, they tune in. My most amazing sexual partners recognize that I can sometimes “go somewhere”. Because I have practiced Tantra for most of my life, when energy is moving through me, it can be mind altering at times, I can be enjoying a moment so immensely that I am connected to the soul rather than the body. Amazing partners see it and flow with it.. They tune in and allow themselves to take that ride, be lifted into that experience. An inexperienced partner will not know how to do this or will not know what the signals mean the way an experienced partner will. An experienced partner hears your breath, feels your movement, recognizes when you are opening for them or pulling away. Amazing sexual partners are paying attention and do not need to ask, they are reading your body language, your breath, your eyes, your touch.
This does NOT mean that you should avoid these partners. Amazing, experienced partners weren’t born that way, they become that way by learning, reading, practicing and accepting feedback. The most interesting thing to me is that the amazing partners are the ones that always want to learn more, read, and experience new things. The cocky lover that learned sex from porn and brags about being amazing, will likely never experience sexuality and spirituality and will never really connect. Don’t be that partner.
Since many of my readers are swingers or into more extreme lifestyle choices, I will add this disclaimer.. if you will be in a group situation, or a bdsm situation or many other scenarios, it may be necessary to talk in advance about boundaries, expectations, etc. Or it just may be your preference. It is admittedly more difficult to tune in or read a partner when in a group situation. For me, I have never had an AMAZING sexual experience when this talk had to take place. Never. That is not to say I didn’t enjoy it, I am just trying to differentiate between amazing, mind altering sex and enjoyable Friday night sex.
I 100% support the use of safe words, incase things get out of hand and someone is not reading the room properly, but if you are with an AMAZING sexual partner, you probably won’t need it.
Take what works for you, and leave the rest.
While writing this I started to go into the next thing and the next thing that amazing partners never do, but I will leave it here for now. If someone is telling you how amazing they are, they almost never are. If you hear nothing else, hear that.