7 Spiritual Ways To Have Better Sex- Part I
Part 1
When was the last time you had amazing sex? When is the last time you had sex at all? If you don't remember or you think of amazing sex as a fantasy rather than reality, you are in the right place. It is my mission to change your mind.
Sex is an important part of a relationship, and of life in general. A fulfilling sex life adds excitement to a relationship and at the same time keeps you happy and healthy. Science shows that orgasms release oxitocyn, the happy hormone. Doctors refer to oxytocin as a natural pain reliever, it eases pains from the body.
As long as it is consensual, sex can be a spiritual, beautiful, meditative experience. It has the ability to heal you, both body and soul.
Without going too deep I am going to give you a simple map to begin with. If you are currently craving a more fulfilling sexual experience, I would advise you to walk before you run. Start with some basics.
Put away your toys, pills, books, and tools. Focus on what you already have inside you. You do not need a bag of gadgets. Please note that I highly support the use of the toys once you have established a great base line for sex. If you depend on your bag of tricks exclusively, I promise you that nobody is having the best sexual experience they could be having.
You've probably heard about the chakras, the energy centers of your body. How are chakras related to better sex? Each of the 7 chakras has a role to play in sex and physical gratification.
Chakras are the energy centers of our body. They keep you physically and emotionally healthy. Energy balance is important for the mental and physical well-being. If you are having trouble in the bedroom, if your relationship has become unfulfilling you need to take a look at these energy centers.
When the chakras are out of balance, either underactive or overactive, a number of problems can arise. Some examples would be frigidity, loss of interest in sex, low libido, loss of trust in your partner, wanting sex all the time, feelings of guilt and shame, and more. These are the most common, but certainly not the full list.
Guilt and shame are extremely prevalent feelings people experience in relation to sex. Society teaches us that sex is bad so this pleasure is often viewed as a sinful, sometimes only subconsciously, and probably most commonly in women. This is definitely affecting sex lives for couples. The men end up being accused of being perverted, not being normal, or very often being obsessed with sex because they want to have a regular active sex life. You can only solve the problem of feeling shame in yourself, or your own view of shame. You cannot control the actions or feelings of others. If you are in a relationship where you are being shamed, your best option is to encourage your partner to explore their feelings and the root of their concerns.
To improve your sex life you must work on the problem. A good way to start on your own is to work on your chakras.
The 1st step would be acknowledging that sex is divine. Let’s release the following beliefs: sex is a sin, sex is dirty, sex is only between husband and wife, sex is only between men and women, sex is only for committed partners, etc.
If you already have a more positive belief about sex, but you are still hiding that because you feel like you are the only one or you think it is wrong to have that feeling, this will create shadows and lead to more problems in your relationships.
Let’s look at how the 7 chakras can affect your sexual experiences.
1st Chakra- Security
It is important to trust yourself and your partner. There is unlikely going to be great sex without trust. Now this next section will be controversial, but most of the time sexual topics are. I don't mean that you have to trust your partner with your life or your finances or your deepest secrets, or even with the truth. Depending on the type of relationship you are in you may just need to trust that you are safe in that particular container.
For example if this is just a one night stand, you just need to feel that you are safe for that night, in that situation.
As a side note, and for a completely different conversation, whenever you are engaging in casual sex, there is always an element of risk that has to be accepted. If you are making that decision with your eyes open and have taken precautions to mitigate that risk, then you do you.
For the sake of this article, I will be referring to a regular sexual partner when I refer to lack of trust.
The issue of trust and security starts with the 1st chakra.
This chakra lies at the base of the spine, forming the foundation of your energy system. It regulates our sense of security, safety, best interest. If it becomes difficult to trust people whom you love, and there is no definitive reason for that, you need to take a look at your root chakra.
A healthy root chakra is necessary for all sexual bonds because you must feel safe to have a great sexual encounter. When you add trust to the mix, it will only enhance tenfold. I fully encourage and support open, non-monogamous relationships, but I know that you aren’t having your best sexual experience if you do not trust your partner.
Activities to strengthen the 1st Chakra: (use these or find something of your own)
1. Grounding through visualization/meditation – Imagine you are like a large tree with huge roots growing out from your legs and feet deep into the earth. You should feel securely rooted into the earth, but also still flexible and moveable like a tree.
2. Dance-Not a good dancer? Who cares, just do it anyhow. I am a terrible dancer, but I still do belly dancing by myself in my living room.
3. Walk barefoot in the sand or in the grass.